Friday, April 30, 2010

Things I Never Thought I'd Be Doing

Top of the list would have to be: Explaining to child why he should not accuse his classmate of destroying San Francisco.

So today my son brought home the landscape he made in art out of salt dough--rivers, grass, desert, and erupting volcano. A kid on the bus, a perennial foe of said son, made a nasty crack about how lame it was.

My son turned to him and said, "So that's what this is all about? You destroy San Francisco and kill one of my friends, just to get to me?"

I bit my lip. He's been watching the movie Monsters versus Aliens, and of course this is a line from the movie. He does this--quotes movie lines, chosen because of the emotion of the speaker and not because of the actual meaning of the words.

"Um," I said. "Do you really think that Colin destroyed San Francisco?"

"No," he said breezily. "I was just really angry."

I tried to explain what the problem was. But I'm not sure I got through. Some days it's tough being a mom.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Adam and Eve and Ralphie and Marian

It's twilight in the Garden of Eden. Adam is sleeping. Eve is standing beside the Tree of Knowledge, her head tilted as she listens to the sly logic of the Snake.

"Go ahead," urges the Snake as Eve takes the smooth, round fruit into her hand. "Taste it. You'll be---"

FREEYOW! A blast of energy suddenly sears its way through the forbidden fruit and strikes the Snake with killing force. Eve is saved! She turns in surprise to look at her rescuer. It's Ralphie Kokensparger, Time Lord and NASCAR driver! By his side is Marian Ravenwood, his friend and companion in adventure.

Ralphie brushes past Eve to examine the remains. But the Snake is not really a snake--it's a Dalek, one of Ralphie's most deadly enemies. These evil machine-creatures from the planet Skaro have caused death and destruction throughout the galaxy.

But now, the whole history of the Bible will follow a different course because of his brave actions.